How To Cheat on Exams

Before we go any further with this post, let's just get one thing straight here:

I'm not a cheater. Never have been. And (hopefully) never will be.

The last week for me has been extremely hectic. You know. Cramming for Thursday's French exam the day before. Cramming for Friday's Science exam on Thursday night, waking up only to realise it's a snow day, not learning your lesson so you end up procrastinating all weekend, and cramming forty-five minutes before the examination? Yeah...

Exams suck. They're not extremely difficult if you study, but they're SUPER LONG and tiresome. To solve this problem, my friends and I were discussing ways to cheat, and how these ways would fail.

The Kleenex Trick


If you've done an exam before, you probably know that you're not allowed anything on your desk. Unless it's see-through of course. You need a see-through pencil case (I used an old Del-Sol shopping bag), and even a see-through water bottle.


However ladies and gentlemen, right now it is January. Yes, January-one of the coldest months in the whole year. In a quiet classroom, people constantly sniff, blow their noses, cough, and other annoying things. When you're sitting in a room for an hour and thirty minutes (plus another half hour if your exam goes into over time) with your head down, noses can start to get REALLY stuffy and pretty soon, you're making very gross noises.  And you REALLY don't want to make those noises in a silent classroom. On the other hand, if you DON'T sniff... well, you know what happens.

Which is why we're allowed a box of Kleenex on our desks during the winter exams (though in my opinion, someone blowing their nose in a silent classroom is WAY more distracting than someone sniffing. Especially since you block them out after a while).


My friend Flav, developed the Kleenex Trick. It's pretty straight forward, really. Basically, you write the answers down on the tissue, fold it, then pick it up and pretend to blow your nose with it.

Do I need to explain why this fails? Sorry Flav...but I can't possibly imagine someone trying to read a tissue that's way up close to your nose :P Also, it's kind of risky :P

The Water bottle Trick


I overheard a conversation a couple days before exams where a group of girls were debating how to get their answers underneath their water bottle. I suppose this could work...but it's still risky. Especially if you're using a see-through bottle.

Also, how the heck would you read the answers? It would be so obvious when you lift up your water bottle and peer at it's underside-part-thing. And what if you really were thirsty? Lifting the bottle up to drink from it would only expose the answers to everyone.

And perhaps the most failish part of all, how many answers can you really fit on a water bottle with a less than 10cm diameter base?

...I'm sorry. But no.

Getting the Answers from your Friends


Like the above, this does not work. Unless the head of the Science department made every single Science teacher give all their grade 9's the exact same test paper, this will fail because none of the exams will be the same. Which means

1) no, you cannot buy the answers
2) no, you cannot ask for the questions in advance

Winging it


One of my very good friends always wings tests. Always.

Winging it is almost as bad as cramming (which I really need to stop doing), and when you get your test back with a big fat 40 on it, don't even think about wondering how you managed to get that mark.

Of course, you kind of have no choice BUT to wing some tests. For example, pop quizzes (which apparently, don't count much towards your final grade). But when your test is worth 20% of your final mark, I DO NOT recommend winging it.

Drawing on you Hand

Please don't tell me I need to explain this.

Studying

Two words. This. works.

There's no risk of getting caught, you feel better about yourself when you do well, and..well...it's just better :)

The Moral -.-

I decided that I'm going to review all my notes from each of my classes every night from now on. That way, I won't have to give myself a brain cramp when studying for next semester's exams.

Also, sorry about not posting in a while :P I didn't really feel like it and decided to quit... But recently, I figured, what the heck, so here you have the first blog post of 2012 ^o^

Cheers, everyone! And for those of you with exams, I wish you guys luck/hope you guys did well XD